I am really trying hard to start posting more regularly. The biggest setback this week was having to change nannies. I was without a nanny for about a week, and let me tell you – stay at home moms should be commended. I work from home, but that time that I get at my desk, interacting with other adults via telephone is a welcomed break. The days that it’s just Ellie and I are cherished but I’m typically exhausted by bed time. Some days, I get some stuff done around the house, others, I’m lucky to brush my teeth. So as someone who has done both, staying at home is WAY HARDER than being a working mom in terms of being ragged. As a working mom, leaving my baby (even if it is just to go upstairs) is hard. I’m super grateful that my boss let’s me get the best of both worlds because I couldn’t imagine dropping Ellie off at a day care. I probably wouldn’t unless it was absolutely necessary.
We went to the zoo together which was actually our second time going. This time, though, she was a little more alert and could respond to the animals. She really liked the monkeys, big cats, and elephants. We didn’t get to see the whole thing, because she was getting tired and fussy towards the end. It was a fun mommy/daughter date though.
She absolutely HATES the sun being in her eyes, so luckily, I found these glasses that a friend gave us. I haven’t put them on her outside yet, but next zoo trip, we’re giving it a shot! In the meantime, she likes to eat them.
We have discovered sesame Street (not the show because we don’t watch TV, or we TRY not to watch it), but another friend gave us these animals and she loves them. I actually took a shower at one point and she occupied herself. Ernie is her favorite so I play the rubber ducky song a lot. It’s surprising how much she likes him.
I’m going to do a separate post on Baby led Weaning but after a little scare, I decided that I would give her a combination of puree foods and my food. This is her eating peas which she liked a lot.
She didn’t like these as much, but they’re a little thick. This wasn’t a store-bought puree, this was my own recipe, water and mashed sweet potato. She still ate the whole thing, it just wasn’t as pleasing as the other stuff.
There really wasn’t any corn on it, it was basically the cob, but she likes anything she can chew on. And it was probably sweet.
She’s going through a bit of a clingy phase, but she’s also going through a curious phase so she wants to grab and touch everything she sees…. from the comfort of my lap.
Lastly, this week was the beginning of Lent. Ellie and I went to mass on Wednesday evening and both got ashes on our head! While it was interesting having Ellie try to eat the pew, the hymnal, the missalette, my fingers, the laminated sheet of prayers and her outfit, she was relatively quiet and I got a lot out of what Father Pat said. He said don’t give up chocolate or something like that, give up something that separates you from Jesus. I really liked that and interestingly enough, I did that this year. I decided that for Lent, I am giving up
- being critical of others – For whatever reason, I’ve always had this “defect” of character. I think initially, it was a defense mechanism for low self-esteem. It made me feel good to see the faults in others, when what I was really doing was trying to convince myself that I was okay. And it may still be that a bit, as being a new mom really does shake one’s confidence. I’ve noticed that I get really nervous when I’m around others with Ellie. I was running with a mom the other day and Ellie was a bit fussy. I felt unsure of what to do because in reality, I always just respond to her cries, but I know in the mommy world, that’s not really accepted as much, so I didn’t want to appear “weak” to the other mommy, even though she’s not judgmental at all and has always been supportive, it’s just my own inner critic and the fear of not being liked. So maybe part if my being judgmental is me being defensive but I think the other part is me just being arrogant, plain and simple. It’s still coming from the same place, that place of separation and that’s not what God wants of us. Jesus always talked about us being one. Our struggles are one in the same, so what I should be doing is loving others and He loves me, warts (while they are my own perception so who knows if they’re even real) and all. This is going to be very hard and I’m really going to need prayer to help me stick to it.
- cussing – In reality, I don’t think that God cares that much if I cuss, but usually when I’m cussing, I’m either being critical (see above), or complaining in some way. I’m never just like, Oh good effin’ morning!! It’s usually like, that driver is an effin’ moron. The words are so aggressive and coming from a place that is absolutely separate from God.
- Be more prayerful – Being Catholic, I never have an excuse to not pray. There is a prayer for everything! So if I’m at a loss for words, I’ve got some I can say. But there’s also time for my own words too, so instead of turning to the things above, I can say a quick prayer instead. I can get up with Ellie in the morning, and we can pray together. Pray before meals, helping me have gratitude for the blessings in my life. Thanking God at the end of the day because there’s much to be thankful for. There’s a lot I can pray about and while I usually say one strong one in the evening, I feel I need to do much more than that.
What are you giving up for Lent?